Why am I so grumpy in my heart?
I have asked this question in my prayer time. I have even pondered any number of reasons why this could be. However, it was not until I heard the message preached tonight at church, that the dots began to connect. The answer was then placed right before my eyes. I had a responsibility to respond. I am so thankful I have. It has made a world of difference already.
Do you want to know what the answer was?
It was because I was harboring bitterness in my heart. I had unconfessed sin festering like a cancer with in my spirit. I literally could not stand during the invitation. I had to stay put right there in my seat and begin in prayer, confessing the sin I have played with and felt I had the right to hold on to, until each and every last one was spoken. It was like a weight was released from my shoulders and I could breath again, after I prayed.
"Blessed are those who are pure in heart,
for they will see God."
for they will see God."
I so desperately want to see my Father in this life time of mine. I know I will see Him when I depart this planet. But I want to see Him now. I want to feel him move in my life. I want to see His hand as He orchestrates His works before my eyes. More than anything, I want to be a vessel for Him to use. Whether it is cleaning someone's toilet or sharing what He has done in my own life ~ my personal testimony. I want to be that fragrance of Christ, that when I walk by, you don't see Tricia. I want you to see the very spirit of the Lord. I want to be so tucked away and hidden in Him, that my walk bears witness to just that.
God is so good! He is faithful!
Thank you sweet Jesus for your grace and forgiveness.
For the ten millionth time you have reached down into my wandering heart and tugged me back close to your chest and for holding me there!
Thank you sweet Jesus for your grace and forgiveness.
For the ten millionth time you have reached down into my wandering heart and tugged me back close to your chest and for holding me there!
You are so right! I've been there and back many times. Bitterness can fill our hearts and ruin our lives! I'm so glad that the Lord revealed the present bitterness to you - and know that your heart is so much lighter right now. Praising Him with you...:-)
ReplyDeleteGreat post...I have been there...thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart!
ReplyDelete-sandy toes
This was so open and honest, and so close to things I've been experiencing lately. Thank you so much, I needed this reminder. I needed a little nudge to the heart this morning. :)
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Liz
I am glad that you are feeling better now! And your experience is a familiar one. I'm just so thankful that God never, ever gives up on us! :)
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome Trisha, I think we are all at this place from time to time. I have been kind of spirtually dry and I hate that. You think how could two years ago be my best time of growth, when now I want it but it doesn't feel so close. We have been dealing with finding a church home. We have been going to so many different ones and most are seeker friendly which is great but then we realize there is not a lot of spirtual growth in these churches. We tried another one which is expository preaching and it is pretty good but there is no fluff or media ( short films, or any of that hipper stuff churches do now (: So we are stuggling on what God would want and where we need to be. I don't question God at all, I know He is here and I want to be used and I hope I am. I just wonder what God wants church to be in 2009? The word only with praise, or a new approach to get people in. I think the idea of a seeker church is neat but there has to be meat and conviction not just we love you no matter what you do? We are stuggling with this, any insight? I'm glad things are better for you with your walk, and the bitterness is out in the open.
ReplyDeleteKatie <><
Thanks for sharing that with us and being real...you are refreshing! Thank goodness He always meets us where we are at...God is good!!
ReplyDelete